I realised this very early in my life, when I was too young to understand this world. I was a kid who was more drawn to freedom than anything else.
When I see people obeying rules and regulations, I feel bad for them. I am not talking about the rules that keep the world running, but the rules that don’t even exist, yet people follow them just because they fear change or something.
I was never afraid of change because one thing I realised about this world is that nothing is permanent. I have seen people die in wars, and later on, no one remembers them.
If no one is going to remember you, then what’s the point of being afraid of trying new things?
Being from a village background, I have seen the worst kinds of social norms that are put on everyone—kids, men, women, and adults. And when some people try to skip those norms, society itself forces them to be like everyone else.
And because of these societies and the way we force people to live according to certain norms, our societies these days are so messed up.
There are a few kids who think about escaping these norms because life has become so difficult due to the moral values that almost everyone is suffering from today.
Think about this: a kid is born, and the parents and family decide the name. Later, he starts to walk, and the family decides what he or she is going to wear. Then schooling and subjects are decided by the family, and later, the career is also decided by the parents. After that comes marriage, and then how many kids they should have and when they are going to have them.
The family decides almost everything for that kid except death, because no one can control it. Otherwise, they would decide that as well.
Read the above lines and think quietly—where is the freedom in all of this?
I feel this is the reality of almost every Indian kid. It doesn’t matter what kind of family he or she is born into, rich or poor; at some point, everyone faces the same challenge.
So, I never wanted to fall into this trap, but I had to face those things as well. My subjects were decided by my family, and my family wanted me to have a government job and a secure marriage. There was no need to take risks or think beyond the line.
Today, I feel their thinking was right according to the conditions of this country because they have seen the worst of this nation, so they have developed this kind of thinking.
I don’t blame them. We think according to the environment we have lived in and the people surrounding us.
Only a few people are able to raise themselves above this basic way of thinking, and society calls them misfits. They call them “pagal hai” or use any other slang that can possibly make them feel like they don’t belong.
And sometimes, society doesn’t just call you different. It tries to make you feel like you are wrong for even thinking differently.
I have seen this everywhere—in school, in college, in family, in public places, and in society. It is true about this world.
So think about this for a while: if this keeps on happening, what is going to happen? Everyone is going to become the same, and this world will become worse day by day because the people who dare to disagree are the ones who bring the next change. And it is visible throughout history.
Jesus disagreed with the Roman authorities, and later, you know what happened. A new religion was born, and today we love Jesus and worship him.
Similarly, those who realised that there was something wrong with this world decided to leave it, speak about it loudly, or show it through their actions.
All these things are interconnected.
But there is another side to it as well. When you become a part of this society, even though no one is coming to help you when you are down or when you are facing challenges in your life, you still find yourself trying to fit into the same rules and expectations created by that society.
And maybe that is the biggest contradiction of all.
No one comes to help you when you’re down in life.
It’s something very common. You will find millions of people who can verify this, and even I have felt the same.
When you hit the bottom in your career or in something similar, you will see that there is no one around who is willing to stand by your side.
In my life, I have experienced this two times. The first was when I was in school and failed to score well in Class 12th. Suddenly, everyone who used to praise me and consider me intelligent started gossiping about me.
They started associating me with bad habits like cigarettes, beer, and so on. They started saying, “Now he will not be able to do anything in life,” and many other things.
Now, again, back in 2023, I hit a career setback. I faced major losses in the things I was trying to do. Even then, people started calling me a failure and saying all kinds of things.
People always want to see you hit rock bottom.
And honestly, these are the same people who were secretly waiting for you to fall so that they could throw stones at you.
Sometimes, even some of your friends do the same. They also wait for you to fall, not because they want to help you get back up, but because your failure somehow makes them feel better about themselves.
I am saying this after experiencing all these things myself.
So, this is one of the major reasons that made me stop worrying about what others think about me. If they are not going to help me when I am down, then what’s the point of worrying about what they think about me?
No one is going to put food on your plate when you are not in a good condition.
Food on the plate?
We all live according to our financial conditions, but when you don’t have enough funds to fulfil your basic necessities, you will realise that there is no one coming to save you.
Only a few people will stand by your side—the ones who really care about you and have humanity inside them.
And this is the reality. You can see it throughout history. Look at fallen kingdoms—how they fell and what happened to the kings after their kingdoms were gone. Not every king was bad. Some were good as well.
It is okay to treat bad people badly, but what happens to the good ones? Even they are not always remembered or supported when everything falls apart.
That is why I slowly started understanding that I cannot build my life around what other people think about me.
Because at the end of the day, I am the one who has to live my life, face my failures, deal with my problems, and put food on my own plate.
You will find millions of reasons not to listen to others because sometimes they are actually happy that you are facing such problems.
Happy with your problems?
I used to feel sad for people who were in bad conditions, and I used to feel that if I had the power, I could have solved their problems.
But when you grow up, you realise that some people intentionally want to see you suffer. They feel happy when you are in trouble, and they say bad things behind your back.
And it’s a reality we have all felt at some point in our lives.
I have seen the worst kind of people, and maybe you have seen them too.
I feel bad for those people because they are not able to see other people progress.
They feel bad when someone around them is doing better, moving ahead, or achieving something they couldn’t.
Instead of being happy for someone else’s progress, they start comparing, gossiping, and finding reasons to pull them down.
And honestly, I think that is a much bigger problem than people simply having an opinion about you.
So think about this: do you really want to live your life according to the advice of other people whose intentions towards you are not good? Think about it multiple times.
And there are so many small reasons as well that have stopped me from worrying about the stupid opinions of others. It’s not my arrogance, but it’s my safety.
I feel safe when I can be free and live my life according to my own will. I don’t want to be a slave to the opinions and advice of others.
True freedom is not about going places by your own will. True freedom is when you can rule yourself. — By Py.
That’s why I used a thumbnail showing an elephant walking in the direction it has decided to go, while a lot of dogs are barking around it and trying to drive it in a different direction.
But the elephant doesn’t care about the barking. It keeps moving in the direction it has chosen.
Let them bark. You keep walking.
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